Sometimes it only takes a second, you have a revelation, an epiphany, and BAM you know what you want. And sometimes it takes months, even years, to find out.
Personally I find it very ironic.
Tonight, as most nights, I was surfing online, looking at jobs and courses related to psychology.
I was reading "The Psychologist" as well, a magazine published by the British Psychological Society and sent to the members every month. Interesting piece of paper, if you ask me. Usually it has ads for seminars, courses, and jobs, so I am always eager to browse through it.
So as I was reading it tonight, (it came in the mail yesterday), I found out about these seminars for CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy). Now, CBT is something that I wanted to learn how to do, in the way of becoming a Clinical Psychologist. However, this goal of mine, realistically seems distant. So I thought, why not learn some skills that a Clinical Psychologist has, from a different route, and maybe focus more on Counselling? (since it might be easier to actually obtain that degree).
The total cost of this diploma is a rather large amount, but since you need to pay for each seminar separately, in the end, it doesn't seem so much. Hmm..
Tonight's blog post though, is not about my CBT seminars.
It's about the fact that STILL after years spent in higher education, pursuing a career in the field of Psychology, it is difficult for me to be 100% sure of exactly what is it that I want to do.
How is this even possible, you say?
Because having a theory based degree with general knowledge about this discipline, didn't help me decide on a particular division. I know I liked research. I know I like Clinical. But I also know that it is the hardest division to get into. The second best for me is Counselling.
So I'll go for that. BUT STILL after all these years, I don't know exactly what target group I want to help.
Do I go for alcohol and substance abuse?
Do I go for post-traumatic stress?
Dementia, stroke, Alzheimer's disease?
and the list goes on!!!!
All these problems are in between Clinical and Counselling psychology, and the lines are blurred. I think that's why I can cope with this.
The weird thing is, that even after all this time, I still can't decide.
And I don't know what to do, to help me decide.
This is something that I want to do for the rest of my life- hopefully. So it has to be right.
I wish I could just "know". Like I would wake up one day, and I would know what I want.
I would feel what is right, and I would be in love with my work, forever.
But maybe even if I knew, this is not how the world works :(
That's why I said that it's ironic. How sometimes I just "know", in a matter of seconds, I have an internal revelation, and I know, and sometimes, the world may come upside down, and I still don't know!!!
This is somewhat frustrating.