Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Scumbag teacher

For those of you who visit rather frequently, you will probably be familiar with the 'scumbag' meme (the silly expensive hat on people or things, etc). Those posts always make me laugh because they are not jokes, but the irony of life.
Anyway, on to my post now.

Let me tell you a little story.
There is this girl (it's me, no big surprise here, lol) and she had decided to go to Kingston University for a masters degree on Psychology.
The course is very demanding because it incorporates 3 years (of a bachelor degree) into 1 year, in masters level. She is going to do it in 1 year full time, because she has no idea that's it's going to be the hardest thing she had ever done in her life.
Despite the little difficulties, the loneliness, the everyday problems, etc, she makes it from September to May, having a Marginal Fail in one module, but having passed the rest. She speaks with that teacher, and he reassures her that if she doesn't fail anything else, she probably won't need to retake the exam, but the July committee will pass her.
She feels a bit better, and keeps going. She takes seminars in essay writing, since her marks are not that good. She spends even more time researching and writing essays.
Her marks improve, and she reaches 61%!!!
She has by now realized that among the other foreign students, she has one of the highest marks in the I.E.L.T.S. test for English academic proficiency, but that doesn't make any difference at all, since her marks are just a pass and nothing fancy.
She sees that tutors, professors, etc in England don't give high marks, ever. It's like by giving them, they lose a year of their life. Lol.
Anyway, last week she takes an essay back. The mark on that essay is 30%. Which is not only a Fail, but it means that she has failed that module as well. That module has 2 essays, that count for 50% of the total mark each. Since one of them was a 30, the other one needs to be a 70, in order to pass the module. She damn well knows that there is no chance in hell that the other essay or any essay for that matter, is ever going to get a 70%. Therefore she prepares her self psychologically that she has already failed this module, which automatically means she'll have to re-sit that exam (from the previous semester) in August.

Now let's see what's wrong with that: Summer only has 3 fucking months. We may wish it was longer, but it's not. Time is limited. Until May 28, time is spent all in preparation of 1 exam. The final one (which may as well be a fail again, doesn't really matter now anyway). June was supposed to be all spent in research and experiments for her dissertation. Which need 40 participants. Which is hard, because people are bored, and don't really want to participate in experiments, unless they absolutely have to. Anyway, moving on. June is gone, and then July, she was hoping that she could go back home for about 2 weeks, to stay at home with her family & friends & boyfriend, and also go on vacation, to soften the misery that is life.  And after that she would come back to fucking Kingston, to write the dissertation, search for a new apartment/room, and live with her boyfriend until he had to go back to Russia.

All that will be quite different, since she will probably have to study (in between of everything else) for THAT test, and re-write that essay, and maybe study for the other exam as well (if she has failed it too).

It is apparent why she is pissed, why she is angry at the professor who gave her 30%, not because it fucked up her life enormously, but because the essay did not deserve it.
A 30% mark is ridiculous. And the comments he made were even worse. Most of them are unreadable, in his weird hand-writing, she can not even read them. Maybe that's even better, since the other that she can read are so mean. "superficial, not critical thinking, vague, waffle, unsupported, grammar mistakes, long sentences" etc, etc. The worst thing is that she has spent a very long time writing this, and all he has to say is his "opinion" that it's a piece of crap. He does all but say the exact words out loud.

She has a meeting with the module leader tomorrow afternoon. This will not change her mark of course.
All she wants to do is yell at him, and break every single thing in his office. Swear at him and tear the essay in little pieces and throw it at his face. Or even better, take them and shove them down the throat of the teacher who actually marked the essay. Sweet thoughts. But alas, they cannot become reality, as much as she would love to.
She will sit there, asking the reason why, very politely, and then listening to all the pretentious stuff and all the irony. She will envision every way possible to murder both of them, and that might make her feel a tiny bit better inside, but it won't change a thing.
She hates her self for deciding to change her life, to move to Kingston, to start this course.
She feels sorry for herself, because she is in pain almost everyday. Stress, uncertainty for the future, feelings of failure, nostalgia, torment her every day, and for what? So that she can fail anyway, making graduation with a MSc conversion in Psychology impossible. Making all this hell she has been going through since September, pointless.

Scumbag teacher gives her 30%. Means she is mentally challenged or can't even write the shopping list in English.
That's a sure way to feel great about your life!!!!!!!!

People, read my story and feel better about yourselves. If you're not in my situation, you are ok!!!!! Believe it!!!

1 comment:

NellieVaughn said...

I am so sorry you're going through this. I wish I could provide some words of comfort, but I can't imagine what it must be like. I can say that everything will be okay because I believe that it will, but I can't magically make everything okay now, and I hate that.