Saturday, April 28, 2012

Back in England and sick with a cold

How awful can it get?
I got back in London last Sunday night, my trip was again an ordeal, just like when I was going to Rostov in the begging of April.
But I got through that! And then I had a relatively good week, except for the fact that I had to re-adjust to being alone, and also I felt a cold creeping up since Tuesday! And since Tuesday it's been getting worse and worse daily. Instead of feeling better, I feel like death xD
It started with a weird feeling in the back of my throat, in my tonsils. So I did a little home remedy, you squeeze a lemon and use the juice to gargle the area of the tonsils, and then you spit it out. That kills bacteria and shrinks the tonsils, if they get swollen.
Indeed I felt better for 2 days after that, BUT I got a runny nose!!!! and there is NO lemon remedy for that!! I took some pills that they have here, for sinus relief and stuff, but it didn't help much to stop the cataract of snot that was running for hours on end, even at night (AND I had classes at uni, to which I went to with a huge pack of tissues). Yesterday I was also coughing a bit, and this noon that I woke up (believe me I didn't want to get up, or get out of bed, or move any muscle, but the essays are not going to write themselves, and my deadlines are getting closer and closer) I was coughing like a horse that's about to die. I mean Oh my God that hurt! My chest hurts, my whole body feels like shit, like I got run over by a bus.

The weird thing is that my lips are swollen and my tongue hurts, it has some of that white.... I don't know the word, some of it's little bits are white and that huuuurts :'( but it's not a mouth ulcer, I know about those, but it's not it. Don't make no difference though, cause I still feel like crap!!!! Like a bag of dog crap someone sets on fire on another man's doorstep and then he steps on it. Something like that describes me perfectly right now. ..

I hate the fact that I can't stay in bed, and I have to write essays (It's my fault really, if I had done more during the Easter break, now I wouldn't have to... but what the hell, how writes essays on spring break?? LOL.)

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Easter Sunday!!

Normally one should say Happy Easter and stuff, but I'm not Christian, so I really don't care about the stuff. It's only polite though to wish, so I'm gonna :D

Happy Easter, dear readers :D

This year as you know from my previous post, I'm spending my Easter holidays in Russia. And especially today that is very strange, because although Greek and Russian people are both Christian Orthodox, and they shame many traditions,they are still so very different. My family is not religious or very traditional either, but we mostly follow traditions for company's sake. For example, every Great Friday (the Friday before Easter Sunday) people go to church to pray and kneel before Christ, and a small weird monument that every church makes, especially for that day, it's basically a portable Christ, with flowers and stuff, and it symbolizes the death of Christ and the mourning of the people.
Let's see if I can find any Google images to demonstrate it better than my stupid narrative.
Oh, there are quite a few! This is one of the pretty ones, and less tacky. (most of them are really tacky unfortunately).

Anyway, this wooden square thingy that some young people carry around and the others follow, is what happens. Then on the Great Saturday night, they go to church for Christ's Resurrection.

I used to follow these traditions mostly because it was an excuse to dress up, go out and after weird church stuff, to have fun with my friends. We all use to live very close in the same neighborhoods, so it was quite easy :D  And everybody went, just for that, the motivation to do something fun later :P
I bet most of those people were not even religious at the time, or even now :P

But the fact is I have some very nice memories from those things.
The only time I was not in Greece for Easter holidays, was in 2007, because I was on a trip to Germany with my mom. I had a truly wonderful time, it was one of the best trips I've ever done in my life (and I have traveled A LOT, it's something I'm really really proud of).

So today is different as well. I'm not eating the usual food, the Easter Sunday traditional Greek food (that I love, by the way), but it's not bad, I don't mind. We ate Borsh, which is a delicious Russian traditional soup, and my boyfriend's aunt is a fantastic cook :D

I got a bit reminiscential (?) today, remembering all the other Easters I've had, all my close friends, all the fun and relaxed times we've had :) 
This year is very different for my anyway, with all the changes and everything, so I didn't really expect for other things to be the same, and it's fine. I'm relaxing, and that's all that matters :)  

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Is Vlog the new Blog???

Is actually Vlogging replacing blogging???

I mean, I keep seeing more and more Vloggers, and their short or long videos seem very interesting to me, and they are less and less bloggers out there, and most of them shouldn't even have a blog. But that's another topic and you can read my opinion here.

I have been following people on YouTube, and it's been fun :)) actually seeing their lives up-close, is so much better than reading about them!! So much more.....realistic and... well I like it more xD
I would like to have a little vlog myself, but I am a bit camera shy, and I can't find motivation to do it :/
I have uploaded some videos on YouTube though, and they are bits and pieces of my life, and it's kinda funny and I'm glad I did it :D

Anyone who is interested in randomness can enter my channel and see my videos  here.

Plus, I have been thinking that maybe this blog needs a different look, like a change in the background, maybe different fonts, etc etc, I don't know, I haven't had time to look into that to be honest, so tell me what you guys think!!
And another question, should I try to make more videos?? Not an actual vlog, but a small effort to bring a bit of fun in my life and others as well.

I guess it would be easier if I had a larger `udience, like those Vlogging people seem to have, but that's alright, I was taught to appreciate what I have :D so I'll go with that!! (=you guys).

And last, I always hated advertising myself everywhere, like posting on facebook stuff from my blog, or youtube, or generally asking people to watch my videos, subscribe, comment, blahblahblah, but that's all those people do, and it seems to work! I was always annoyed by it, but dear lord, it's effective!!!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Easter vacation in Russia!

Hello my dear readers :D

First I would like to apologize because I haven't uploaded anything for almost a month or so, and that's just not cool. There are reasons for that though.

I am currently in the middle of my Easter vacation from uni, and I am again in Rostov-on-Don, visiting my boyfriend. I had 3 weeks off from uni, so I am going to spend them all here :)

The reasons why I haven't written anything for this long on my blog, (although sometimes I was greatly inspired) was mainly because I had no time, with important essays for uni, deadlines, etc, etc and because on the few occasions that I had a tiny bit of time to write, I felt stuck and stressed and I didn't want to sit my ass down and write anything.

I don't feel that I have a right to complain about life blah blah blah and how unfair and bad it is for me right now, blah blah blah, it's just that I haven't been feeling ok for a long time, and my current life is NOT at all something I enjoy living.

Let me explain in a small paragraph, just so you can understand a little bit more about me:

I am a 24 year-old girl (I don't fell like a "woman" yet, I feel more as a girl, and I don't find anything wrong with that....yet.), I am from Athens, capital of Greece, where I have lived all my life. Last September I moved to Kingston Upon Thames, London, to study for my masters degree in Psychology. I have left my home behind, my parents, my cat, my friends, everything. My boyfriend also moved to Russia, (in Rostov, where I am right now: read above).
My problem therefore is that I feel torn. I feel like my life had been smashed to a million pieces, covering all Europe, and gone with the wind. LOL, how poetic that was. But strangely it shows completely how I feel.

It feels like I'm living a surreal dream and I'm going to wake up any minute, but I don't, and the dream keeps evolving. I don't like my life right now, because I am far from anything familiar, anything that makes sense, anything that makes me feel good and safe.

People said the usual: "oh, come on, it's just for 1 year, it's gonna be fine, you're gonna come back and it's gonna be like you never left", blah blah blah. Only that's it's not. It's not, because I don't know if I'm coming back. Or when I'm coming back. The situation in Greece right now is far from good, I'll probably be unemployed, IF the ministry of education accepts my masters' degree anyway. But still, jobs are very hard to find, everything has gotten so expensive, and I can't be a young student anymore, like I was for the past few years. Protected from unemployment, from responsibilities, from debts, from bills, from the ugly side of life.
Now I have to be an adult, in a country that's going to hell like a train wreck.
My parents told me to stay in England, at least here there are a few jobs available, it may not be awesome, but at least it's a living. Of some sorts. And that means that I need to find a room in a shared house again because I can't afford to pay rent for a studio, and also that I need to find a job, and also, that I can't go back home.
I wouldn't mind so much on one hand, it's not that I love Greece, I never did. But I love my house, and I love my cat, and I miss everything. I miss my previous life. I don't like this rat race that I'm living now. Things are not normal, they are not stable, there are not certain. They are unstable, vague, uncertain, and this is how my future seems :( And I hate it :(
 I try to build little routines that keep me going, that keep me sane. Having little routines helps a lot. I never knew; I hated routines, I hated planning, all that crap. And now, as I'm growing older, I NEED them to stay calm, to stay free of panic attacks, I hold on to them, tooth and nail, just to get me through the day, the week, the month.

And always, new challenges appear :( New obstacles, new chores, new things I have to overcome, just to survive!!!

I feel so tired, like I'm stuck in a rut, like I'm stumbling around in a dark room, trying to figure things out, and it  feels impossible.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time, to last year. I would have done things differently, I would have decided things differently. But then again, some say, change is inevitable. And things can't stay the same forever, no matter how hard you try, they are still going to change.

Oh my, I started by a small paragraph, and ended up with a novel. LOL.
Ok, well, I have research to do now for one of my essays anyway, so I'll write another post soon.

(I had nothing to write about my vacation right now anyway, I pretty much stay in the house, watching movies and relaxing).