Saturday, January 28, 2012

leaving Russia

I'm flying at 15:25 today.

I don't want to go. I really don't. Deep down, (and not deep at all) I wish I never had to go.

I had a great time, even better than Christmas holidays when I went back home to Athens. Why, someone might ask. Because I had no stupid college stuff in my head to stress me out, no parents, no friends, no actual responsibilities to do. Most importantly because I spent time with the person I love, and it was just the 2 of us.

Just the 2 of us, in a small, very warm apartment in Rostov-on-Don, with only 3 rooms, but with so much love and fun. Outside it was -10 to -17 on any given day, and he also had to study for 2 exams, but none of that mattered.
It's just the 2 of us, like we are the only people in this fucking awful world.

I packed my bag again, and I'm ready for a long journey back to Kingston.
Back to being lonely everyday, back to doing everything alone, everyday.

It's a horrible thing the long-distance relationship, but for now it's all we got. And it's killing me, it's eating my heart, it's ripping it out of my chest and tearing it apart.

Words are not enough to describe it.....

(song of the day: "9Crimes" -true blood version- by Damien Rice)


NellieVaughn said...

I've done the long distance relationship thing. It was one of the most painful things imaginable, and also one of the most beautiful. Because close physical proximity, and its distractions, are not an option, you are forced to REALLY get to know each other through lengthy phone calls and emails. I got to know him, and he got to know me, better than anyone in the world. But the pain of being so far form each other was something I had to carry, and hide, all of the time.

~Danni~ said...

I think the getting to know if nice, but if you are used to the physical proximity, it is even harder to be apart.. At least it is for me :( I keep dreaming of the day that distance does not exist anymore, and we can be together in the same country again, no matter which country that is.